Have you ever lived in fear?

I have never really known fear until recently when the Deep Horizon oil rig blew.  We knew when they drilled the thing there were some very serious concerns - like they were drilling into a very dangerous area where there was a bubble of methane gas that has been there for a thousand years.  The powers that be didn't listen to the words of advice and drilled anyway.  We know what happend 89 days ago and we can see what continues to happen - oil being spilled into the Gulf of Mexico along with high levels of methane gas.  A methane gas bubble is what caused the disaster to begin with.

BP and US officials hoped to have the new cap on the well yesterday and were going to start shutting down the well slowly to see if it could handle the pressure.  Today, progress was stopped again.  They are doing studies on the sea bed floor.  Checking for siesmic activity. 

Folks, I live on the west coast of Florida and this is not good.  They have either found the pressure is too great, which would cause an explosion, therefore they can't shut it down or the pressure is too low, meaning there is another leak.  Either way, Florida is screwed.

I then checked out online job search websites today (as I lost my job in June) and noticed that there are immediate openings in the Coast Guard.  As you know if you have been following the situation, the Coast Guard has been working closely with the Feds and FEMA.  They will be the ones to help in a national disaster and also to assist FEMA with martial law should it need to be put into place.

I'm not a conspiracy theorist but I can see the issues falling into place - and for the first time in my life, I am terrified.  Terrifed that my family and I and millions of others will die because of this horrible, man-made disaster.  I am ready to move Colorado way.  Take my pets and my kids and go.  But would it do any good?  The amount of methane gas would spread around the globe.  The oil would kill everything in the oceans.

I pray none of this comes to pass but I'm not going to let another day go by without making peace with my God.  I always thought I'd grow old and grey.  Watch my children marry, have kids of their own.  Now I fear for their lives and our future.  The reality of what we face is severe.  The 'conspiracy theories' of 2012 might come true much earlier than believed.  I guess we all need to live our lives to the fullest now.  Do all the things we wanted to do.  Don't waste another day to live for we never know when the day will come that everything we know and love is gone.

I hope I haven't sounded too depressing.  As a writer, I felt the need to express myself and my thoughts.  It's cathargic in a way, though it relieves none of the fear.  It just makes it easier to live with.